[title card] december

[tenderfeeling]

well. christmas came and went. i didn't write anything about it because i don't really celebrate!

it's... a... to me, it's like.. [flounders a little] it feels like another one of those social conventions that just makes other people feel bad, but this one seems to be more socially acceptable all around? i don't really know. it comes with a lot of pressure even to people who seem to appreciate holidays. my girlfriend got me a sonic plush, because they wanted to, and though i'm usually very resistant to receiving gifts (i... don't feel... like i deserve them, most of the time...) it would be cute and comforting to me so i'm pretty chuffed about it. little guy will be here around mid january as long as i don't forget to check in with customs.

mom got laid off, we're struggling, rent isn't paid, it's whatever. i've decided to stop stressing out about it and just take each day in stride. it doesn't make poverty less... stressful... to be in, but it keeps me from freaking the fuck out all the time because.. like.. that's not going to change anything. seems like everyone's a little fucked financially recently anyways. the state of the world worries me sometimes! but we've survived worse as a society.

i'm excited for 2025 to be over. it wasn't as bad as 2024.. i had a lot of good things happen and good times but ultimately it's overstayed its welcome. i know the mere passage of time isn't magical and it won't make things better but, you know... we use these measures of time as a matter of perspective more than anything.

in other news, i finally watched all of katanagatari (and am currently reading the novels).... AND simultaneously getting into trigun at the behest of my other partner (that's a story for another entry). all around really good and also you should watch katanagatari. please. please? for me? it's good. "why are you not talking about trigun are you less enthusiastic about it" don't even joke about it lad. i just keep getting shy because it's something i care about that someone else showed me so i'm a little bashful.

things are interesting, things are interesting... even if life is hard, i've been unlocking a sense of deep satisfaction about it recently. i think everything is going to work out. please hang onto hope, even, no, especially when it's hard. it may take a long time, and we may falter, but i think we're all a lot more capable than we think.

P.S.: it's 85f but feels like 100-something right now. i feel like a bowl of melted butter